Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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