why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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