she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
