There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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