are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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