Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
