Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
