I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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