I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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