it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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