My nipple is on Facebook.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
