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Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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