my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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