All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
