I want to have your abortion
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
