your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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