Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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