return my video game
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
