Yo dont text me then not text me
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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