Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
