How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
