Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
