Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
