Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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