dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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