I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
