it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
