ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
