I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
