Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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