Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
