We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
