Don't you send me to vm
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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