at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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