I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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