I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize