i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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