I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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