He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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