glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
