Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
