Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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