we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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