I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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