Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I need water and some morals
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
