someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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