Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize