If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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