she was so not down for the gang bang
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
