Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
