I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
