I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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