I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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