I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
