ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
