He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
people are starting to question the shark bite story
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
