Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
420 ftw
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
