apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
