Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
