Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Screwed.edu
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
