I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
