Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
