from now on my penis is your penis
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
