New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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