I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
