Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
