My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
