the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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