so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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