I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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