This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
