i think my mom watched the whole time
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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