know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize
