wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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