no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Randomize
