VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
