we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
