so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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