and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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